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silvertoes

2008-01-31T23:22:00.000-08:00

Pebrero na mga blonde watchers! Buwan ng mga puso. Jampacked nanaman ang mga motel, kaya yung mga mga discount cards jan, sulitin!

Pero malamig nanaman ang mga kagaya kong nag-iisa at walang jowa. Kahit iwasan ko dyosokoday! ipapakita sa iyo ng kapaligiran na akoy isang lonely heart. Ok lng, diosa naman ako ng kagandahan. speaking of kagandahan, ang yours struly naiimbyerna sa mga taong nagfi-feeling. alam nyo blondewatchers, pagdating sa feezeekal appearance, beautiness is in the eye of da beholder daw. aketch, ito ang aking simpleng batayan...

Merong likas na maganda, diosa-level, mapa-makeup man o wala.

Merong ok lng, pero fabulous with some help - from the cheapest fez powder to the bonggang 'thanks doc!'

Merong ok lng din, pero dahil natamo na nila ang kapayapaan sa kanilang mga sarili, ang inner glow, umuusbong! at nagiging so pretty na sila.

Merong hindi talaga pwedeng pilitin. mga nunal na tinubuan ng mukha, mga tigyawat na tinubuan ng muka, mga kabayong nagkatawang tao kasi hindi nacomplete ang formation...and the list goes on an on. Marami kang makikitang ganyan sa mga party places on a friday night. ewww...

Kayo blondewatchers? saang category kayo? hmmmm...

Chorva.

komunyon kachorvahan

2008-01-01T17:17:00.000-08:00

blondewatchers, happy new year!!! di pa rin ako napuputukan gravah! nagsimba ba kayo nitong bagong taon? ako yes. at napansin ko lng ha, usong uso na talaga ang communion in the hand.

nung nagfirst communion aketch, napakabanal ng eksena - may pakneel kneel pa, hand in prayer formation epek, sabay Aaaaaamen. masaklap lang nga ang sunod na reaksyon kong sa hostiang may mompo. ang pakla ng lasa. nailuwa ko tuloy hihihi! pero instantly binalik ko rin at pikitmatang nilulon. feeling ko ba naman kasi noh, ang tindi ng kasalanan ko yun nailuwa ko sha. e ang pakla talaga e. hindi kaya nilublob nung pari yun kamay nya? yuck.

ngayon bihira na aketch makakitetch ng nagpapasubo. ang ganda pa nmn sanang makakita nung ganun, parang kinky hihihihi.

para tuloy nagmumukang ninong si father at ang kanyang mga alipores na layminister na nagaabot ng barya sa katolikong madla. i mean, parang hindi sha pretty sight to me! i bet nagsimula lahat yan ng mga isang paring bading ang hindi na nakatiis.

paring bading (pb): [walkaton sa kanyang superior] most reverend! naiimbyer na aketch sa kadirihan ng pagsyu-shoot ng hostia sa mga kadiring bunganga ng mga faithful. like helloooooo??!!! para aketch dentistang napapatingin sa loob ng mga mouths na iyan! isang malaking ewwwww with a capital E! ibahin natin most reverend, ibahin!

most reverend (mr): tiisin mo na sister, nagjujugas ka nmn ng hands after e.

pb: ayaw mo? aba nagmatapang ang tandercat. sige ka ibubuking ko ang video nyo nung mga jowa mong gwardya at hardinero! subukan mo lng most reverend...hmmm

mr: [nabakla at nanginig ang tuhod] kontrabida! sige na nga, okrayin ba koh?!

at dun na siguro nagsimula mga sisters ang pauso. ako, hindi nako nagkokomunyon mashado. bukod sa bihira na kong nasa 'state of grace', baka irapan lang ako ng pari pag nagpasubo ako. hmmp bahala kayo jan. siguro pag pinilit lang ako. cge go noh. pila aketch, tapos gawin ang left over right kachuvahan. pag bigay ng pari, sabay papanggap na isusubo ko. pero never nila know na iuuwi ko sha hihihihihi. gagawin ko nlng souvenir.

pag ang nagcommunion sa akin ay sikat na pari, o bishop, o pope, ganun din gagawin ng yours truly. tapos sabay bebenta ko sa e-bay!

chorva.

kupal's este couple's greetings

2007-12-25T19:10:00.000-08:00

alam kong pasko, dapat masaya, but no. naiimbyerna ako sa mga pa-epek ng mga bumati sa akin sa text. uso na ata talaga ang ganitong template ng xmas sms greetings:

[insert greeting here]
from [insert name of girlfriend here] and [insert name of boyfriend here]

E ANO NAMAN KC ANG CARE KO SA MGA PAKNERS NYO? Ipinamumuka nyo ba sa harap ng fez ko na malamig ang pasko ko at kayo hindeh???!!! ganon ba aketch ka luz valdez?! ano ha?! o baka naman nagtitipid lng kayo sa text at nagsisimula na kayong mag-ipon pangkasal?! lech! piso nlng nga, paghahatian nyo pa?!

ayan ok na ko. chorva.

fafa dont preach

2007-11-26T21:11:00.000-08:00

ayyyyyyyyyy! sisters akoy naloloka. can somebody give me her expert opinion? bawal ang boys, i dont trust them. they thrust me. shing!

lam nyo kc ba nmn, ako'y isang dalagang pilipinang makatao, makabayan, matatakutin sa diyos. eclavu lang yun first 2, akshuli makalalakeng magpapabayad ang hanap ko. pero trulalu ang aking fear of papa Jesus. so pala-church going ako every Sunday (the rest are sindays hihihihi)

anychoo, para magkaron ng flavah, i even started to go to different churches. para bang personal panata na sa sarili ko (personal nga e boba!). pansin ko lng ha, as in pansin na pansin, iba iba ang version ng "Ama Namin"! May tonong parang panghelehele sa anakis, may tonong parang gregorian chant, may tonong pangmetropop, may tonong pang pabasa.

maygosh abelgosh! baka dumating ang time na ang mga kapamilya pop stars na walang magawang matinong kanta e simulan na rin patulan ito't gawan ng sariling "remake". noooooo way puhleeaassseee. hayaan na natin si jaime rivera nlng noh.

sabi dati ng religion teacher ko (na im sure virgin pa rin hanggang ngayon hahaha loser!), catholic means universal. e hello, explain nyo nga sa akin ang pangyayaring itech? sagot, dali!

chorva.

They are everywhere!

2007-11-22T18:33:00.000-08:00

Hay naku mga sisters, I had an almost-wonderful evening kagabi kaso imbyerna ang beauty ko. Anyway, can I make kwento what happened last night? As if may choice ka, LOL.

So last night I went to that sosyal na mall with a very gwapo friend na crush ko talaga. Pero di nya alam ha? I swear! We were with another friend, so we make ikot and look at the store displays. Chaka yung iba, kasi sumabay sila sa fugly Christmas theme ng mall. Hello, under-the-sea Christmas? So chaka.

We passed by this sosi restaurant kaso wala silang sariling place, kasi nakapwesto lang sila sa corridor. Ok lang, masarap naman daw ang food. Saka masarap din yung isang waiter ha ha ha!

Grabe sisters, may-I-drop ang panty ko dun sa cute na waiter (pero mas gwapo pa rin yung kasama ko no). As in chinito, may dimples, like nya magsmile, saka ewan ko, as if his eyelids have lives of their own.

We continued walking until such time na dinner na. So without second thoughts, inaya ko sila dun sa sosi resto. Aba, love ako ng Heaven, kasi yung cute na waiter ang lumapit sa amin! Ang lekat, nag beautiful eyes! Ay, grabe sisters, muntik ko na masabing "Can I take you home?" Buti na lang my proper decorum kicked in. Naupo na kami then he came back with menus and waited for our orders. While my friends were looking at the menu, I was looking surreptiously at the cute waiter ha ha. And in fairness, nakatingin sya sa akin ah. Oh, di ba, winner ang beauty ng sister nyo.

He took our orders, and he made sure na sya rin ang nagserve sa amin ng food. Pero nawindang ang beauty ko ha. Akalain mo ba naman na unahing iserve yung order ng crush ko. At ang tingin at ngiti nya, OMG! Hindi sya sa akin nakatingin, kung di dun sa crush ko. Pero syempre, I was so rational, sabi ng brain ko, "Loka, natural lang, kasi food nya yun so natural sa kanya nakatingin si waiter." Oo nga naman.

Pero, mga sisters, some part of me was bothered, parang spider sense ni Peter Parker. What I did was that I observed him carefully. After serving our food, he went on to other customers, but he kept on glancing at our table. When I saw him do that, he smiled. Ay, kakakilig sisters.

When my crush went to the toilet, my world crashed. Aba, ang cute waiter, sinundan ng tingin ang crush ko! Bakla ang cute waiter!

Chorva na ito!

kadiring toilet tale

2007-11-08T22:12:00.000-08:00

Dear readers, if you are eating, or about to eat, please stop reading. This post is probably the grossiest ever by the ever beautiful and fabulous Beach Blondes. You have been warned.

---

Hay naku mga sisters, we all know na the toilets are the most kadiri place anywhere. So kadiri, in fact, that we have invented an euphemism for toilet. I still wonder if we can really find comfort in the comfort room, no? Ako I cannot, specially pag kadiri gumamit ng toilet ang mga people.

I remember a former officemate making reklamo about supposed-to-be-professionals' yucky toilet habits. Ako naman, being a Beach Blonde, di ako naniwala, coz from where I came from, we know the proper toilet habits, ah. Saka we are in the 21st century na, so dapat marunong na tayo. Di ba?

Ay naku sister, imbyerna ako kanina. So I just got in, I went immediately to the toilet when I was blasted by a smell. Grabe, ang stinky, kadiri! As in I cannot describe the smell, sister, kasi kanina ko lang naamoy yung ganung klase. I almost puked! I was shocked, girl's toilet tapos ganun ang smell! My gahd, balahurang girlies! Understandable kung men's toilet yun eh, karamihan naman sa mga boys eh with poor toilet habits, given na yun. Pero, haller! Girls, prim and proper, pero ang yucky nyo ha!

May-I-complain ang lola nyo sa ibang girls, at it's just the tip of the iceberg daw. Kasi there is this jologs na girl who doesn't know how to use the flush. As in gumamit pa sila ng powers of deduction and they used the process of elimination para lang madetermine kung sinong balahura itech. Aside from not flushing, di raw nila magets kung paano magweewee ang balahura girlalu, kasi every time daw gumamit ng toilet ang girlalu, basa ang toilet seat! Yuck! Saka nagkalat raw ang used tissue paper anywhere. Hay, sa kwento pa lang, I wanna puke. May worst pa dyan, kaso over na kung i-share ko pa. Basta yun, yung may yellow submarine pa sa toilet bowl, yuck, kadiri talaga!

No wonder. Galing daw sa school that likes the color blue ang hitad.

So I told the story to a male officemate, and may-I-share ang lolo about men's toilet. Ganun din daw sa toilet nila, he used a term nga na I'm not so familiar with eh. Mapanghi ang ginamit nyang term, I'm not sure what it means pero the way it sounds eh yucky na sya. May sinabi pa sya, para raw naipon na urine sa isang arinola, which I think is the local term for a piss bowl. Yeeww. How quaint.

Hay naku, let's end it here mga sisters, baka di na ko makakain ng dinner. Chorva na pag ganun.

halloween is for pangits

2007-10-30T22:32:00.000-07:00

Ay, it's that time of the year again, mga sisters. You know, megatraffic near bus terminals and South Luzon Expressway; candles, flowers, incense sticks, kims all around; and the word DEATH hovers on our clouded thoughts.

At dahil morbid naman kung we think about death, di ba, kaya we do something else before we troop to dead cities. We celebrate Halloween!

Ha? Di mo alam kung ano yun? Ano ka ba, sister, san ka ba galing? Are you from Venus? Or Mars? Gay ka ba? Hello! Anyway, eto, courtesy of plagiarist's favorite site on earth, Wikipedia:

Halloween, or Hallowe'en, is a holiday celebrated on the night of October 31. Traditional activities include trick-or-treating, Halloween festivals, bonfires, costume parties, visiting "haunted houses" and viewing horror films. Halloween originated from the Pagan festival Samhain, celebrated among the Celts of Ireland and Great Britain. Irish and Scottish immigrants carried versions of the tradition to North America in the nineteenth century. Other western countries embraced the holiday in the late twentieth century. Halloween is now celebrated in several parts of the western world, most commonly in Ireland, the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, and the United Kingdom.

Anywhere you go, Halloween is there. Goodness, even the corporate world is not spared ha. For employee enjoyment daw, so may mga Halloween parties where you can dress up as hags and vampires. Sa totoo lang, Halloween is just a reason for ugly people to emphasize their ugliness. Kaya we beach blondes, we don't celebrate Halloween. We spend this day making okray the people in costume. Ok lang, let's give them one day for themselves. The rest of the year, we beach blondes rule! Corrected by, sisters!

Pero sana naman, they just admit that they are pangit. Why deny the fact and then admit it once a year? Chorva.

i can feel it!

2007-10-29T19:34:00.000-07:00

Blonde watchers!

Nagsiboto na ba kayo ng favorite barangay papa nyo? Ay ako oo! Nakakalowka ha. Puro businessman at businesswoman ang mga occupation ng mga kandidato. Puro nlng business, nakakasawa noh. So ang ginawa ketch para maibetch, pinagbobotetch ko ang mga chuvang walang trabaho. Whyness you askness? Abay simple lang, at least mataas chance na tambay ang mga kagawad na yan, slash tanod sa baranggay.

Ay alam nyo ba, sumama ako sa lukrita kong frend maki uzi sa bilangan. E di upo kami sa classroom habang ang mga oldies but truly ever dedicated teachers e nagsisi-verify ng documents before mag si “1-2-3-4-kahon!” sila. Abay meron ba naman umupo sa harap naming na kala nya kagandahan sya. Panay sway sway ng hair, halata naman binabatak lang at di natural anoh.

Nakaka-irita talaga ang forever nyang pag-aayos ng hair - left-right-left-right inilalagay nya sa shoulders nya. Lam nyo, mas maganda pa nga yun mga walis gawa sa Baguio e, promizz. Sana lang may juicy pururuti gum ako nung mga panahon na iyon. At ito pa mga sisters, retokada ang ilong ng matanda. Kaya pla tinawag na rhinoplasty yun, ginagawang mga rhino ang fez ng mga plastic na kagaya nya hihihihi….

Chorva.

time space warp, lumadlad!

2007-10-24T18:16:00.000-07:00

mga sisters! magshe-share lng ako ng pangyayari sa aking local vicinity ha. kaka-irita lng kasi e noh, im sooo affected. in actuality of the situation, mas safe na magblog aketch ditetch para slightly nevah nya ma-ocular inspection!

ayon sa aking bubwit, may isang lalakeng kilala ang your's truly na mahilig mag-projection na isa syang straight 100% full embodiment of an alpha male. pero wag ka, may pagka istariray complex rin pala.

happy birthday muna sa cute na bellboy ng sogo laguna branch, na nagbigay sa akin ng VIP card. tangina mo ha. bosero ka. isa pa naman akong dalagang pilipit na.

anyway, balik tayo. ayun nga, e di ang press release ni guy e wala shang bahid. pero nakakaiwan sha ng mga ebidensyang magpapabuking sa kanyang kachingan! you know like, the websites, the music, the movies, basta, he consumes pink media. just like me hihihi. kumerengkeng ka na kasi sa harap namin oketch lng noh. kesa yun nagpepretendacious malinisious ka pa. so oracanacious ha. magsama kayo ni gloria hihihi...

chorva.

I have social conscience noh!

2007-10-22T20:30:00.000-07:00

Mga sisters, medyo serious muna tayo ha, kasi some people are accusing me of not having a social conscience. Hello naman! Me, the Local Beach Blonde, no social conscience? Is it not enough that I bring about beauty everywhere? Charot!

I am saddened by what happened at mah fahvorite place ha. Nung Sabado, may-I-explode ang Glorietta, and now 11 are dead, hundreds injured. Hay, let us pause for a moment of silence.

Anyway, may I just make palo the authorities for a minute, okay? Kasi naman eh, can't they do their jobs efficiently? For those who wrongly accuses me of lacking social conscience, for your informayshun, may-I-monitor ako sa TV for the news ha, skipping Sex in the City marathons. Ang gulo nyo ha, sabi LPG explosion raw, tapos bomba, then the next day gas explosion raw. Ano ba mga tita? You're making things messier than they should be na.

Tapos there are these armchair analysts ha, akala mo kung sinong genius, may-I-comment ang mga lolo everywhere, as if their baseless comments matter. Imbyerna ang lola nyo, imagine me sitting in the La-Z Boy chair, enduring the kakairita analysis chever chenes eklavu ng Heaven-knows-who. As what my professor used to say, they are not adding to the sum total of human knowledge.

And it doesn't end there. Lumabas sa TV si Mr. Banana, aba, fear factor ang epek nya ha. Beware, destabilizers, sabi nya. Hello! Do they have to destabilize something that is not stable anyway? I can almost hear my old professor laugh in derision and contempt. Naku, sarap sabunutan ng banana man na yan ha, kakairita sya. Galing ba syang Ateneo? My gahd, wag naman sana.

Hay, I pity the dead, gala effect lang naman sila ah. Sisters, let's ask for justice. Let's ask our police to investigate till the kingdom chenes arrives. Put to jail those who are responsible for this explosion.

O ayan ha. My accusers should be satisfied na. If not, well, chorva na sila.

Human dignity is no more

2007-10-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

Hello, dear readers! Allow me to rant muna ha, medyo irritated ako sa office eh, so with your permission....

Sa totoo lang, I make it a point to understand everyone. As in everyone. Kasi turo ng psychology professor ko, we are all different, and we have individual differences, etc eklavu. Kaya ako naman, may-I-understand ang lola mo, kahit sobrang nakakainis na yung iba. Di ba naman, nakakainis kapag nakakairita, ah basta ganun, alam mo na yun. Basta yung feeling pag nakita mo yung asungot na si Jan, ganun.

Anyway, so ayun, I play my understand-you card ko, pero for the life of me I cannot really understand why some people get fun and satisfaction at the expense of others. Just look at Wowowee. Grabeh one Saturday I endured that afternoon making panood that ghastly TV show. My gosh, ngayon parang sarap batukan ng yaya ko ha, she really enjoys watching that junk. Where's human dignity in this world? Aba, para lang magkapera kailangang may-I-cry ang mga poor, they have to wash their dirty linen on global TV, then tatawanan lang ng manyak na host! Where's human dignity!

Ang hindi ko maaccept, why do madlang people have to endure that sh*t? What do they get from hearing other's sad plight, from seeing may-I-cry moms and daughters? Eh kung yung mga nanonood kaya paiyakin ko? Kakairita, ha.

So, ayun. Eh dito sa office, unfortunately ganyan din.

I can withstand kakornihan, it's part of individual differences ek ek, kahit sa office environment. Siguro dahil sa stess, some people need to goof up para mawala ang tension. Pero why, oh why? Why do I have to endure the loss of my dignity? Ganito kasi yun, mga sisters. So para raw sa camaraderie and teamwork, aba may Halloween party raw. At di lang yan, blast-from-the-past pa ang epek. Parang high school ha, may dance presentation! Oh, san ka pa?

I so pity mga newbies. Meron kasi ritong tradition na dapat magsayaw mga newbies pag Halloween. Grabe ha, I endured that kahit na my body and soul was against it. So, relieved naman ang lola mo dahil di na ko newbie, so lusot na ko sa tradition chenes eklavu na yan, right? Wrong ka, sister!

It's all my former boss' fault, iniwan ba naman ako just like that. Two-person department na nga lang kami, nag LBM pa sya (that's looking for better management). So ayun, left alone ang lola nyo, pero nilipat ako ng department. So ok lang, new boss, new team mates, new irritations syempre. So I got the shock of my life na considered na naman daw ako as newbie, kasi new department daw. Oh di ba ang galing ng logic! Sino kaya teacher nila sa logic nung college? Wish ko lang hindi sila Atenista otherwise talagang markadong hudas na ang saucy school na yan ha. Can't they stop producing Mike Arroyos?

Well, I'm ok naman with dancing, kahit na against my body and soul ang dancing, all in the name of camaraderie and teamwork, right? Wrong ka ulit, sister! Fine, camaraderie and teamwork, but not at the expense of mah dignity, ok? Aba, ang gusto ba naman nila eh may-I-dress like hiphop morons! Hello! Ang head ng Local Beach Blondes, magdadamit cheap? Excuse me. I'd rather eat tuyo than lose my dignity no?

What teamwork? Where's teamwork when they just assign what the team will do? Simple lang naman ang magtanong di ba? Pero nooooooooo, they ask after the fact. Sino ba teacher nila sa English? Gahd, pati ba naman vocabulary, perfect? Hay, eto definition ng teamwork for their reference. Wish ko lang talaga di sila galing Ateneo.

Chorva. LBM na rin ang lola nyo. Babush!

lech

2007-10-22T19:55:00.000-07:00

bat naman kasi pinapasabog ang mall? malay ng mga tao sa mga kalokohan nyo, ur soooo bad. we spank you! bat di nlng sa mga bahay aliwan? maraming nagpapasabog dun!

I heart Victor Basa no more

2007-10-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

Teka ha. I'm so out of the loop, mga sisters, and late ko na nalaman, kung di ko pa aksidenteng nabrowse sa Internet ang balita. I am so shock, ha, as in. I still can't believe it nga eh, pero I read the news several times. Tapos may-I-ask pa ko ng katulong namin ha, kasi you know, mahilig manood yon ng jologs TV, so ayun mega-confirm nya. My gosh, it must be the end of the world.

Victor Basa entered Big Brother's house! Why, oh why! Idol pa naman kita, you are always in my dreams but look what you have done? May I post pa naman your picture sa bathroom, tapos ganyan lang gagawin mo?

I thought you were coño, pero not pala. Idol ka na ng mga jologs ah. Grabeh, my yaya is so kilig when she saw you on that pool, I want to make batok her talaga. Hay I am so ashamed of myself, crush pa naman kita! Pero di na ngayon, stick na lang ako kay Munchkin Muy Muy.

In fairness ha, kahit lumabas ka sa corny TV show na yun (boo), I was patient. But not this time, no sireee. Nachismis pa nga na sister kita, but you're so hardheaded. May-I-buking ba ang story mo ngayon? You know, some bloggers make hula na nga eh, you raw ang Rustom Padilla of your batch! Is this true? Chorva ka if ever ha.

gore almighty

2007-10-14T22:52:00.000-07:00

Blonde watchers!

kalowcah ha. nabalitaan nyo ba ang recent pangyayari sa nobel peace prize? si papa al, wagi! pero taliwas sa aking vibes anoch, parang di sha preserving. marami pa jan noh. although may jefex nmn chigoors ang pinaggagawa nyang pagpo-poster boylet sa environmental awareness, o e ano pa rin ngayon davah?

eh kung ganech lng din nmn, i nominate manny pacquiao for reuniting the pinoys everytime may umbagan match siyetch. like hello, as in, zero crime rate ha. san pa you?

chigoors tanggapin nlng natech na ang pagkawagi ni papa al ay isa sa mga inconvenient truths this year. next year cguro nominated ang tatlong zaido!

chorva.

buhayin ang beach blonde!

2007-10-12T02:17:00.000-07:00

...ngayon din!

Blondes over IP!

2006-05-30T04:44:00.000-07:00

Hi Blonde watchers!

Unfortunately, I've been assigned to create a blog for my dear CEO using Wordpress hehe. So...to sharpen my Wordpress skills I created another blog:

Blondes over IP

enjoy!

Congratulations!

2006-04-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

Aba di na ma-reach ang aking ex-officemate! She emailed me last night, telling me how happy she was for finally getting the much coveted "Ms. Proactivity Award" in her company (Mas bongga pa raw itech sa Employee of the Quarter Award, Ms. Friendly Award at Ms. Unpaid OT award). Nung dun pa ko nagwowork ang tanging award lang na nakuha ko e Ms. T**** kasi ako lang ang maganda dun e hehe. period. Kumbaga ala nako kelangan gawin. Feeling ko kahit sumali ako dun na nakapambahay e ako pa rin mananalo. Medyo bad trip lang dahil they had to partner me with this guy na pang Mr. Feeling Pogi. Urgh. Enough about me na nga.

Anyway sabi niya sa kanilang 2am department meeting, "As the 2006 Q1 Ms. Proactive, I promise to promote our corporate values (may values pala sa corporate environment hehe) everywhere! Pati maid namin sa bahay e tuturuan kong maging proactive para naman di ko na lang iniisip parati kung ano lulutuin nya dba."

And she sent pa a picture, sya kasama ang kanyang shift leader (left side nya) at ang kanyang manager (right side nya). Sensya na i have to put hearts para naman to protect their identities..tsaka baka kasi piratahin yung friend ko noh. Sino ba namang kumpanya ang aayaw sa talented person na mas mababa pa sa basement parking ang self-esteem diba. Kahit yata di ito kumain at sumweldo e ok lang basta makapag edit lang ng wrong grammar ng iba.

Kitang-kita naman sa ngiting panalo ng kanyang mga superior oh. Naalala nyo yung ngisi nung pating sa Finding Nemo..kuhang kuha e. Di ko na pinost yung ibang pichur kasi medyo kadiri na eh, as in the manager was making akbay na yuck.

Eto yung nakasulat sa Plaque of Appreciation na nakuha nung friend ko:

This plaque of appreciation is hereby awarded to __________, 2006 Q1 Ms. Proactive, for distinguished performance in the fields of technical editing and human relations. May you continue to be a model of efficiency, selflessness and sensitivity.

The management is proud to give you a Php 400 raise in your monthly salary, stock options to be given in 10 years, and a possible work trip to Taiwan, where you can showcase your superb people skills to non-English speaking employees.

The Return of the Blonde

2006-03-16T02:15:00.000-08:00

I am back back back!

Beach Blonde reporting for duty! Hayyy dyos ko it's been a while. A lot has happened already kaloka! Firstly I resigned from being an aliping sagigilid to an aliping namamahay hahaha. From being a specialist, officer naman ako ngayon o diba bongga. Officer meaning taga-opis haha. Better pay and work hours, same subservient duties, fuglier officemates hihihi...Naemphasize tuloy ang kagandahan ng fezz at katawan ng lola nyo hehe. I'm like, hands down the pinakamaganda sa new office ko noh say mo. Kilala nyo siguro yung iba kong officemates...sina Chocolate, Bomber Moran, Doink the clown at Marissa Sanchez o diba star-studded.

The guys seem to like me naman, pano ba nmn parang naambunan ng kagandahan ang opisinang to nang ako'y pumasok noh. Ang tanging kompetensya ko lang yata dito ay ang aming HR na sa palagay ko'y matagal nang nagmamaganda dito hehe. The guys make pacute to me allllllll day. My screen is always full of these chat windows na nga e. Annoying I have to close them all one by one kainis! Pwede ba stop making pacute to me na kasi. I'm just polite kasi I'm new here noh. "No I don't want to go out with you...why don't you just stick to your icky programming!" Yak kayo noh. tapos nakakalbo pa yiiiiii.

Anyway next time ulit! Pero before I go promote ko lang ang favorite band ko sa mundo!

To download Day One Movement ringtones simply type:
POLY STELLAR or MONO STELLAR and send it to 286...

To download Day One Movement caller ringtunes simply type:
RING ADD and send it to 286...

TRACK TITLE – RING ID
Hermano – 104081
She’s Stellar – 104143

Gig schedule:

March 17 - T.T. Co. Presents: Movie Soundtrack Night - Cafe Saguijo, Makati
March 18 - ADMIT ONE - Cafe Saguijo, Makati
March 24 - Makati Mark, Guadalupe
March 24 - Glam Rock Night - Big Sky Mind

Chuck Norris hates popped collars, foo!

2005-12-13T19:36:00.000-08:00

Hello my dear readers! Beach Blonde here reporting for duty ehehe. Anyway, girlfriends, vent lang ako sandali ha. I'm just so imbiyerna 'cause ala pa dun sa paycheck ko yung Christmas bonus! How am I supposed to buy gifts for my inaanaks? Tsaka I'm planning to buy this Dior saddle bag pa na matagal ko nang pinagiipunan! Hmp hmp hmp.

==============

Anyway, I read somewhere that Chuck Norris once crashed into this frat party and then proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight! Then he drank three kegs of beer and **** on their floor, just because he's effin Chuck Norris.

So yun, first were the tilted trucker caps, then came the half-tucked shirts and the pleated mini skirts and now naman this senseless fashion abomination! They're practically found in all preppy training centers sa kalakhang Maynila, like the malls in Makati and syempre, ang mga walang kamatayang coffee places na parang mga kabuteng shawarma stands kung magsulputan. Why are these guys popping their collars, most especially if the color of their shirt is pink, baby blue, or any other color that's just too gay, even for me??!

Whatever that shirt is, LeTigre, Penguin, Hollister, Ralph, Lacoste, Bench, Penshoppe, AzzKickr, BNY, Rough Rider, Lee, whatever chorva chuvaness...If you pop your collar you're stupid. Stupid ka. Idiot. Moron. At lalo na if you're like, short and on the chunky side! Please god, diyos ko naman. Idol mo ba si Count Dracula? Or James Dean? Or Elvis? Or are your ancestors from England where the weather is kinda drafty? Or may secret golf course na ba ngayon sa malls na may 24 hour sunlight na makaka sunburn sa indio batok mo?

I mean, what's your point? Or walang kang point? Or you just want to appear any of the following?:

a. unique
b. sophisticated
c. stylish
d. rebellious
e. tae

Boyfriend, kung a, b, c, or d ang choice mo you're definitely an "e". a very big "E"! Walang none of the above para sayo noh. "E" ka lang. Period no erase!

I hope Chuck Norris drops by the place you hang out, pulls your shirt over your head and backfists your face!

How to improve your team's production number

2005-11-22T12:03:00.000-08:00

Hey girls and guys! It’s that time of the year again, when the various teams/departments in our offices have to come up with production numbers for that much anticipated Christmas party! And yes we need not say it, it’s also the perfect opportunity for some of your dear officemates to showcase their superb talents and fulfill their most secret Broadgay fantasies on stage. (May God have mercy on us) Oh yes, we, the Beach Blondes of the Philippines, are super excited for you guys! I’m sure it would be super fun, well, at least for us who’d be watching you “shake it like a Polaroid picture” live onstage in front of our bosses and all these executives hihihi.

Yup, let no one deny it…NOBODY can stop sing-song dancey production numbers! From the Spanish zarzuela days of our indio ancestors to our 80’s variety shows to our current noontime shows…production numbers are practically coded right there in your Filipino DNA, along with nepotism, corruption, crab mentality and love for drama. Hahaha.

Anyway, who wants my inane social commentary? No one! So what I’ll do is I’ll try to help you guys with your production number. Awww. We wouldn’t want to bore our officemates and bosses into a coma, right? Promise guys you’ll gonna luurvvvv me for this one!

So, if you’re the brave soul who’s in charge of organizing the whole shebang, I’ll do you a favor by outlining your typical problems:

1. You don’t have much time to rehearse
2. Not everyone has your *ahem enthusiasm
3. Your budget is very limited
4. Most of your officemates can be described as, well…hrmm…all heart, little talent (which makes things really entertaining by the way)

What a monumental task noh. Anyway, don't fret...here’s what you should do:

1. Just continue rehearsing your coma-inducing production number as if your lives depended on it.
2. If you’re the creative director, secretly scout the whole of Metro Manila for midgets. Yep that’s right. Midgets. A.k.a. dwarves, Halflings, hobbits, unanos, pandakekoks etc. Hire a couple of guys like these:

Don’t even try to get Mahal, Mura, Dagul or Noel “Ungga” Ayala, you cant afford these guys.

3. During the big night, just when your production number is building up into something terrible to behold (like for example, just when your singers are erupting into a full blown chorus) get your hired guns, errm, popguns, to suddenly appear out of nowhere (preferably the left of the stage) and cause a general ruckus on the stage!
Your halflings can do any or all of the following: a) Do cartwheels b) Hit the guys in the nads c) Pull down skirts, or pants d) Make funny faces e) Do blatant upskirt maneuvers

No need for them to remove their own pants, that’d be too much!

3. After a minute (that’d suffice) of random disturbance, get them off the stage (Exeunt right, midgets)

Just imagine the impact that’d create! Godamn. I'm such a creative genius.

Guaranteed NOT to get you the cash prize, but I am very very sure that all your officemates will remember it for the rest of their lives.

Mwah.

Men are swine, women are cows, Ee i ee i o

2005-11-06T08:26:00.000-08:00

Hello girls and boys! Beach Blonde just got back from Puerto Gaylera...Whew, i must say...very dertey hihihi.

Anyway, I'd like to introduce Cunting, an anonymous Beach Blonde (not in any way related to any of the official Beach Blondes or the Local Beach Blonde organization, but embodies most of the Beach Blonde ideals and philosophies)...O diba parang yung concept ng anonymous Christian hahaha.

I particularly liked this entry of hers:

men are swine. and i spent five months of my life chasing after a very ugly one. i have to admit that i did have fun making a fool out of myself and i encourage everyone to experience it at least once in their life. trust me. anyway, now that my whole wild episode over ex-boyfriend-slash-pig is over, i am now going to watch someone else's craziness unfold.

the main characters are pochi and chubaca.
who is pochi? pochi is officemate-shiftmate-poets.com member-acidic friend in love and in denial with chubaca.
who is chubaca? a middle-aged fat bloke so vain and full of shit, but can sweet talk the best of them. oh and a superior co-worker.

for the past five months while i had been salivating and keeling over ex-boyfriend-slash-pig, pochi had been watching my whole dilemma - front seat, widescreen, chewing on buttered popcorn - and going, "tsk tsk tsk" and "yeah, you do that bitch." i swear, she's the most encouraging thing next to popped condom. but of course i do luff pochi and xxx and xx and the whole gang for cheering me on and telling me i can still make it as a decent spinster if i stop the whole begging act.

anyway, back to chubaca and pochi. i'm happy and proud to announce that it's MY turn to watch, eat crunchy popcorn and go, "YOU FOOL! YOU FOOL! YEAH THAT'S IT! GO!!!" because after months of their pseudo-relationship going on hiatus, CHUBACA IS BACK! The whole shit-i-hate-you-but-i-love-you thing between them is making its way into my imaginary plasma tv. and of course, i am taking the backseat and letting the lovers get on with their hilarious and pitiful act. i'm so excited for this "season" of "chubaca and pochi" i swear i just can't hold it all in. will chubaca pursue pochi and feed her more chicharon? will pochi tell him to take a bath in holy water? will they get it on again or get it out? will they? will?

go pochi!

//edited
changed name to pochi as pochi got fuming mad (hmmm). and i created ex-boyfriend-slash-pig's friendster so you could all point and laugh at him. feel free to add ok?

Hahahaha. Laugh trip. I just might confer upon her an honorary membership to our exclusive malandi organization. hahaha.

++++++++++

Take a bunch of cubicles, put in some underpaid, overworked, dulled out, super bored men and women, what do you get?

This song. haha. la lang.

Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o
And on his farm he had some chicks
Ee i ee i o
With a cluck-cluck here
And a cluck-cluck there
Here a cluck, there a cluck
Everywhere a cluck-cluck
Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o

Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o
And on his farm he had some cows
Ee i ee i oh
With a moo-moo here
And a moo-moo there
Here a moo, there a moo
Everywhere a moo-moo
Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o

Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o
And on his farm he had some pigs
Ee i ee i o
With an oink-oink here
And an oink-oink there
Here an oink, there an oink
Everywhere an oink-oink
Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee i ee i o

Ang Saya ng Isang Tao diyan

2005-10-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

Advanced Happy Halloween

2005-10-21T15:31:00.000-07:00

Hey guys...

In the spirit(haha) of Halloween I am dedicating this song to our resident ghost kid na parating nakikita dito sa office elevators ng IBM building.

******

Multong Bata (to the tune of "Multo sa Paningin (Multong Bakla)")

Mareng Lei, merong kang bisita
kahit sa CR sya'y kasama
O, Tonton, ika'y maniwala
sa elevator may naluging bata

Ang hilig-hilig mong mag dilaw
Mukha kang may suot na ilaw (ngek)
Ika'y multo sa paningin (ang multo sa paningin)
Ika'y multo sa paningin

CHORUS
Hah ahh
Hah ahh
Oi

Ang kapal mong manakot
Sa IBM, ikaw ang salot
Ika'y multo sa paningin (ang multo sa paningin)
Ika'y multo sa paningin

[Repeat CHORUS]
[Repeat 1st & 2nd Stanzas]
[Repeat CHORUS]

Ika'y multo sa paningin (ang multo sa paningin)
Ika'y multo sa paningin (ang multo sa paningin)
Ika'y multo sa paningin, ang multo sa paningin (ang multo sa paningin)
Ika'y multo sa paningin (ang multo sa paningin)
Ika'y multo sa paningin (ang multo sa paningin)
Ang multo sa paningin (ang multo sa paningin)
Ika'y multo sa paningin (ang multo sa paningin)
Multong bata [8x]
Oi [17x]
Oi, Bata
Bata!

******

Uy, friends tayo ah...;)

Beach Blonde Holiday

2005-10-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

"Eh lasang Sprite lang naman eh..."

2005-10-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

The first hour:

A couple more hours:

(Uh guys...let's hide the knives and bottles, quick!)

I heart Mike Chan!!

2005-08-20T00:04:00.000-07:00

Hello again beachblonde fanboys and fangirls!!!

I am uber excited to be back...Aba sobrang tagal ko na yatang di sumusulat sa pretty kong blog. Pano ba naman kasi I've been so busy with work and stuff, aside from regularly turning down loser guys who ask me out on dates! My cube is so cluttered na tuloy with the stuff they give me, like stuffed toys, stress balls, cheesy portraits and food, food, food! I cant believe how guys can be so needy talaga!Urrgh.

Anyway...I'm dedicating this entry to the one and only Michael "Mike" Chan! Kasi the other day nung wala akong magawa sa bahay nag local channel surfing ako. Lo and behold! Na stuck ako sa channel 13 akalain nyo un, sa noontime show nila, ung "Chowtime Na!" At ang tanging dahilan lang dyan ay si Mike "hunka burning love" Chan! Alam nyo yun, he was singing and dancing with these fugly Burlington girls or something (yuck)...Grabe so talented I can't believe it. So divine! The whole experience was surreal...

I sat through the whole shebang, through all their toilet, footspa, electric fan, orocan, and cooking utensil commercials! Gaahhh I have never seen so many of such hideous commercials in one day! Si Mike Chan lang talaga ang dahilan kung bakit natagalan ko ang show na yun!

Hmm how can I describe Mike Chan...Well according to an obscure interview, He is super health conscious... super health buff...doesn't want me to eat meat!

Oh boy! this guy is super sexy... I hope he keeps working out, sana lang he doesn't get huge.. meaning mala-arnold swzhe#$#^'s muscles huge. And apparently he doesn't have vices... except basketball! (Hey is that even a vice??)

And I bet you don't know that he has an album out! Oh dba! Grabe, umaapaaw sa crushability ang tao na 'to!

Anyway, the album title is "Truly".

Here are the tracks:

Maunawaan Nyo Sana Ako
Truly
H'wag Ka Sanang Lalayo
Sana'y Malaman Mo
Bilangin Mo
Crazy
Ibibigay Ko
Ang Pag-ibig Ko
Kahit Alam Mo Na
Di Magbabago
Baka Sakali
Maunawaan (Minus One)

Like who cares if he has a Jennifer Aniston (Friends era) hairdo??? I heart you Mike Chan! Say bye bye na!

Wesley Snipes owns your ass

2005-06-25T07:18:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Sorry 'di ako nakakapost masyado, I've been pretty busy with work eh. Aside from that, I've been bogged down with issues concerning love, friendship, nail polish, havaianas, handbags and the existence of Man! whooo hoooo.

Anyway, this entry is dedicated to my favorite actor...Wesley f^&*!@# Snipes!

Why Wesley Snipes? 'Cause he's baaaad, he's black, and he can cut you up with his nasty blade 'til you're unrecognizable! Best of all he can do it without you even noticing! Basta 'di mo alam pinapatay ka na pala ganun! hehe.

Besides being black he's a really fine actor...He can be so ruthless, mean and unmerciful (Demolition Man, Blade, White Men can't Jump) pero deep inside he's really a softie pala (One Night Stand, Waterdance, To Wong Foo). O 'di ba? akalain mo ba na ganun sya. Wesley Snipes as Noxeema Jackson sa To Wong Foo! haha ibang klase!

"When a straight man puts on a dress and gets his sexual kicks, he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body, and has a little operation, he is a transsexual. When a gay man has WAY too much fashion sense for one gender, he is a drag queen." -- Noxeema Jackson (WESLEY SNIPES) to Chi Chi Rodriguez (JOHN LEGUIZAMO).

Tapos he practically does everything now, sobrang sipag and versatile, actor capable of multiple roles na, producer pa! director pa yata, lahat na!

Really, I so loff Wesley Snipes, as in. Can't wait for his next set of movies.

This Started It All

2005-06-11T16:50:00.000-07:00

For all you pretty people out there, here's a bit of history!

Ganito kasi yun, one night I was really really drunk and sabog when I got to work. Pano ba naman kasi, nung week na yun 'di ako pinapansin nung first officemate crush ko (hindi si Munchkin Muy Muy ha, yung isa pa, yung 'di ko na type ngayon). Tapos nagkayayaan lang kami nung mga mean girls na maginuman kahit na tanghaling tapat. So ayun, na weng-wang nako, antok pa nung pagpasok ko nung gabi.

Anyway, I didn't know what I was thinking, pero here's a screenshot of a report that I published on the Internet:

Makes perfect sense diba! Especially if you're not from Earth! hahaha. Grabe napahiya yata ako dun, pero ok lang, natuwa naman ako! I even came up with the lamest palusot, that I was testing if report senders actually verify whatever I publish on the Internet hehe.

Oh, and yes, I know na at last how to post images haha. Another milestone!

Have a break, have a KyutKat

2005-06-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

Hi guys! Ang kyut ng title ng post ko na 'to noh? Wala lang, 3M (hayyy) mentioned it to me awhile ago, I don't know where he got it pero I thought it was cute, witty, and kyut! Haha, wala lang. And yup, by the way, KyutKat is actually an officemate. Hmm did 3M actually mean something when he said "have a break have a kyutkat"?? Huh? what am I talking about? It must be the alcohol! Another officemate pressured me into having a beer with him kasi eh. Laging nagyayaya uminom, ewan ko kung bakit. Aba..now when I think about it, maybe he's trying to get me drunk or something! Grrr...style ah...pang P.N.P. (Pulis na Palaban) ang eksena...Do you know that show? They have like crime re-enactments and there was one episode about date rape techniques. Ewww...how do I know this stuff? Ugh. Philippine TV = booooo!

Anywayyy...what happened ba today? Well aside from the bagyo and the baha and the annoying traffic, it's been pretty ok naman. But I think its weird na nagkakabaha din pala sa ibabaw ng flyover. Diba noh? Talk about gravity-defying Filipino architecture.

Ah yes, we handled an English diagnostic test for our other officemates, and this guy ha. He was this close to pissing me off. He kept asking "ewan ko ang kulit mo" questions, alam nyo yun..yung mga tanong na ang automatic sagot ay "ewan ko ang kulit mo!" Why can't he just answer the friggin test diba. Feeling know-it-all pilosopo Tasyo ewan, sana lang wag sya mag feeling na gwapo sya noh, please naman.

What else...ay oo...apparently an officemate went to the men's room without locking his pc. Tsk tsk wrong move e! Isipin nyo na lang...bored IT people + unlocked PC = kalokohan. So ayun, another officemate used his PC to send me an "I love you" message na naka cc kaming lahat! Hahaha. How am I supposed to react diba? And mukha naman syang di dapat seryosohin talaga so bahala siya sa buhay niya. Hmmp pinagiisip lang nya ako e! Di niya ako mauuto ako pa! I only have eyes for Koreans haha.

I miss my Munchkin Muy Muy

2005-06-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

Anyway, here's the pagpapatuloy of my last entry. Diba I said na "I so miss someone right now..." Well for absolutely no reason at all I decided to give him the code name Munchkin Muy Muy. Uso kasi daw sa blogging ang pagbibigay ng kung anu-anong code name! Ay kaloka.

I don't even know why I miss 3M (yuck parang scotch tape at car tint), it must be the weather. It's been raining all day and I can't help but feel emo. So what do I miss about him nga ba?

Maybe it's because of the way he looks at me! Is he even looking at me diba...Pano ba naman sobrang singkit so mahirap siguruhin kung san nakatingin. So iniimagine ko na lang na sakin sya nakatingin pag kumakain kami sa cybermall. Tapos he's always dressed in a dignified manner sa office, parating naka-polo ganun. Gustung-gusto ko yung orange polo nya, wala lang. Pano ba naman dito sa office, people look so trashy! Para silang mga college boys! Roundnecks, jeans and all. Isipin mo yung iba naka parang pajama pa at tsinelas lang! Yuck. Mukha pang di naliligo. Hmmp.

Buti pa si 3M ko, i loff his hair, parang alagang parlor...hayyy, tapos may mga silver strands pa na pailan-ilan, so cute!! Tsaka sobrang gentleman, grabe talaga, unlike this stupid mayabang officemate ko na si Jan. I absolutely hate his guts, I didn't even bother giving him a code name. Panget ka! Hmmp. Ewan ko ba kung bakit may nagkaka-typ pa sayo grrr.

Hmm what else about 3M...ah, yung nose nya! how adorable! Kagigil.

Thanks to my tsismoso shiftmates I learned na may crush ang aking Munchkin Muy Muy dun sa isang ka-department ko. huhu. Sexy, in fairness, pero hello...di siya beach blonde tulad ko! So she's like inferior or something. Lahat ng wala sya meron ako noh.

Iniisip niya kaya ako habang nagcocommute sya pauwi? or habang sumusulat siya ng VR (virus report), or habang kinakain nya baon nya, or habang nasa CR siya? Sana talaga.

Just another manic Monday

2005-05-29T19:01:00.000-07:00

What is it with Mondays ba talaga???

A friend's hard disk died, and it took like 9,845,780,495,039 mp3s and a bunch of PSTs...booo!

Another friend sort of got into a kalabuan with his special someone...mas booo!

Tapos it's raining pa! wow san ka pa.

So what's next dba? Baka mamya mabagsakan ako ng tree, or hindi magflush ung toilet, o kaya maiputan ako ng maya bird habang naglalakad ako mamya pauwi...shit...or baka magbrownout di ako makapanood ng koreanovelas ko..grrrahhh...

I need to make a list of "Monday" songs, which includes yung may "just another manic monday" at ung "rainy days and mondays always get me down"

I so miss someone right now.

2005-05-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

You Are the Very Gay Winnie the Pooh!

Come on, he doesn't wear pants!
And he's a little too obsessed with Christopher Robin

What Gay Childhood Icon Are You?

Earth to Beach Blonde!

2005-05-28T02:17:00.000-07:00

Hi Hello, ako si beach blonde. Ganito pala magblog...yuckkk...hehe. As in. Pero check nyo yung mga future posts ko ha?ha?ha?

Ano ba nangyari today? Hmm...wala...yep wala...isang masalimuot na wala...yuck para akong taga-AC.

Ay meron, pala, nag meeting kami sa office. Some kinda meeting where you're given the chance to daydream about your favorite Korean popstar...Hayyy.